percy's troubles, learning about the greek gods
by TheTrueCthulhu
Summary: you know you always, always see readings of the lightning thief and some of its sequels, but you never see it for the greek gods. so here you have it, reading 'percy Jackson and the greek gods lets see if he can get out of this one alive...not a jackalope would be nice too. . ok I didnt realise how boring this would be so boring so im dropping it, not that any of you would care
1. Chapter 1

**hi people of fanfiction! this is the first story I will upload and will undoubtedly ignore some of the many characters I have here. eventualy I will get some proper stories up but until then I will stick with something I have never found in all my time browsing: percy's mythology recall books. once I complete this I plan on following it up with 'percy Jackson and the greek heros"**

 **until then have fun reading!**

It was the meeting of the summer solstice when There was a flash of light in the throne room, prompting the 14 olympians present to reach for their symbols of power in caution. When the light died down they relaxed again, recognising each face. Thalia, Jason and nico lay in an unceremonious heap on the ground; Hazel and frank looked around confused, seeming to be in mid stride; leo was asleep while snuggling with a jack hammer while piper stood over him, quite disturbed. Also present were a number of heroes of old: perceus, phyche, phaethon, otrera, Daedalus, thesusus, atlanta, Bellerophon, cyrene, orphyus, heracles and Jason, all standing around confused(as were the gods, as most of them were supposed to be dead).

Finally their gaze rested on the couple that had yet to register their appearance. Annabeth was straddling a shirtless percy, who she was kissing hungrily. Percy was propping himself up with his hands behind him, while Annabeth had one hand behind his head and another creaping below the waist band of his pants(AN: as in boxers, not trousers, cos I'm english).

Just as this was happening a book with a note attached to it appeared above them, bouncing off annabeth's head and then percy's before hitting the ground. Their heads swivelled around before you could say whiplash, catching the lustful looks and blushes the pair was. Whenn their gaze rested on anthena Annabeth looked like a kid with their hand stuck in the cookie jar, and percy looked about ready to pass out. The pair scrambled apart from each other, trying (and failing) to act innocent. The wise owl lady glared at the son of posidon, while barnacle breath tested his own 'ill kill you later' stare on his, daughter in law to be. Artemis and thalia just looked affronted by the both of them.

To clear the awquard air zeus decided to find some answers, "DEMIGODS! I demand to know how and why you are intruding on the Olympian council!" then, as an after thought, "and put a shirt on nephew!" earning him a few sniggers from the collected halfbloods.

It was thalia who spoke up first, "I would have thought we were summoned father? Other than that I don't know how we could have gotten here." After saying this she left the gods musing, while Annabeth decided to distract herself from Poseidon with the book that hit her on the head.

She found a note attached to the front of the book and announced it to the gods, who then asked her to read it out, so she did:

"hellooo gods and demigods! This is a book written by our favourite demigod, percy Jackson, about you guys and your ancient escapades.

I have brought you all together to read this book and stopped time surrounding your throne room with the help of Chronos in the hopes that it will fuck percy over.

Lots of Love: tartarus

PS: this is for bursting most of my cardio vascular arteries you asshole!"

There was a moment of silence before posidon let out a hearty chuckle, "well this will be interesting wont it!" he cried, directing it at his son, who chuckled nervously.

With that, Athena decided to read out the title and first chapter of the book, before snorting in amusement as she flicked through the context page, before deciding to keep it quiet for now.

Finally she started to read, " **INTRODUCTION**

 **A publisher in New York asked me to write down what I know about the Greek gods, and I was like, "Can we do this anonymously? Because I don't need the Olympians mad at me again." But if it helps you to know your Greek gods, and survive an encounter with them if they ever show up in your face, then I guess writing all this down will be my good deed for the week.**

"good deed for the week?" nico asked.

"yeah, I was hoping if I do enough I might finally catch a break" percy replied, before gestureing at the book in athena's hands, "but obviously it didn't work"

That earnt him a gasp from thalia, "ooh gods, he's using long-ish words! It's a miracle! The good deeds did do something for you after all" she said, earning a number of laughs.

 **If you don't know me, my name is Percy Jackson.**

"don't be ridiculous perry" guess who?

 **I'm a modern-day demigod—a half-god, half-mortal son of Poseidon—but I'm not going to say much about myself. My story has already been written down in some books that are total fiction (wink, wink) and I am just a character from the story (cough—yeah, right—cough). Just go easy on me while I'm telling you about the gods, all right? There's like forty bajillion different** ("That's not a real number!) **versions of the myths, so don't be all 'Well, I heard it a different way, so you're WRONG!' I'm going to tell you the versions that make the most sense to me.**

"and then went on to live out"

 **I promise I didn't make any of this up. I got all these stories straight from the Ancient Greek and Roman dudes who wrote them down in the first place. Believe me, I couldn't make up stuff this weird. So here we go. First I'll tell you how the world got made. Then I'll run down a list of gods and give you my two cents about each of them. I just hope I don't make them so mad they incinerate me before I— AGGHHHHHHHHH!**

Every head in the room darted towards percy here, most gods glearing, while he chucled nervously. Hes been doing that a lot recently hasn't he.

 **Just kidding. Still here. Anyway, I'll start with the Greek story of creation, which by the way, is seriously messed up. Wear your safety glasses and your raincoat. There will be blood.**

"well that was a short chapter." Athena announced, "who wants to read next?"


	2. Chapter 2

Hestia was the first to respond, "I believe that our heroes should be able to get more comfortable, and can we continue in a less formal setting?" she pleaded, giving her youngest sibling doe eyes that only artemis could surpass (even though she would admit to it, on pain of jackolope-ization)

"of course Hestia" zeus gushed as he turned to his eldest sister, disturbing his children as the saw a side to their father that they never wanted to see. Fortunately they were all distracted by Hestia flashing them all onto sofas that she had placed in a circle.

Suddenly percy and Annabeth burst out laughing, seeing their parents squashed together on a love seat, and artemis suck between Hermes and apollo(not sure who was most horrified out of the five of them..)

The gods separated as percy, annabeth, piper and Jason jumped for the love seats, immensely more comfortable than their parents(cousins, half-siblings, aunts, uncles and whatever piper would be) were.

After that, theseus decided to pick up where his patron left off

 **THE BEGINNING AND STUFF**

 **IN THE BEGINNING, I wasn't there.**

"no shit percy!" nico shouted out

"niccolo di angelo, don't make me turn you into a flower again!" (godly step mums, am I right. Taking grounding to a whole new level)

 **I don't think the Ancient Greeks were, either. Nobody had a pen and paper to take notes**

"yes but there was engravings" supplied Aphrodite, with surprising wisdom.

 **, so I can't vouch for what follows, but I can tell you it's what the Greeks thought happened. At first, there was pretty much nothing. A lot of nothing. The first god, if you can call it that, was Chaos—a gloomy, soupy mist with all the matter in the cosmos just drifting around** (que percy cringing at every word… what? This is the most powerful being in the universe) **. Here's a fact for you: Chaos literally means the Gap, and we're not talking about the clothing store.**

"sigh…" well there's the Aphrodite we know and love, or was that Apollo?

 **Eventually Chaos got less chaotic. Maybe it got bored with being all gloomy and misty. Some of its matter collected and solidified into the earth, which unfortunately developed a living personality. She called herself**

"Dirt face!" leo shouted out, only to get slapped upside the head by piper

 **Gaea, the Earth Mother.**

 **Now Gaea was the actual earth—the rocks, the hills, the valleys, the whole enchilada** (somewhere in the mortal word, grover's ears pricked up) **. But she could also take on humanlike form. She liked to walk across the earth—which was basically walking across herself—in the shape of a matronly woman with a flowing green dress, curly black hair, and a serene smile on her face** (the HOO shivered here, remembering the smile from… countless nightmares) **. The smile hid a nasty disposition. You'll see that soon enough. After a long time alone, Gaea looked** [DT1] **up into the misty nothing above the earth and said to herself: "You know what would be good? A sky. I could really go for a sky. And it would be nice if he was also a handsome man I could fall in love with, because I'm kind of lonely down here with just these rocks."**

"rocks that looked oddly similar to baby zeussie" mused hades, while Poseidon sniggered

 **Either Chaos heard her and cooperated**

"so the first ever case of incest?" questioned Athena, going down a path with disturbing thoughts

 **, or Gaea simply willed it to happen. Above the earth, the sky formed —a protective dome that was blue in the daytime and black at night. The sky named himself Ouranos—and, yeah, that's another spelling for Uranus** (Que sniggering) **. There's pretty much no way you can pronounce that name without people snickering. It just sounds wrong. Why he didn't choose a better name for himself —like Deathbringer or José**

"realy seaweed brain, José?" asked Annabeth

"acctualy that's a pretty cool name, I might use that next time if go clubbing" _suspicious sound of a silver bow being drawn_ "or not, pleas don't shoot me litt-OW!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME IM OLDER!"

 **—** **I don't know, but it might explain why Ouranos was so cranky all the time. Like Gaea, Ouranos could take human shape and visit the earth—which was good, because the sky is way up there and long-distance relationships never work out. In physical form, he looked like a tall, buff guy with longish dark hair. He wore only a loincloth, and his skin changed colour—sometimes blue with cloudy patterns across his muscles, sometimes dark with glimmering stars. Hey, Gaea dreamed him up to look like that. Don't blame me. Sometimes you'll see pictures of him holding a zodiac wheel, representing all the constellations that pass through the sky over and over for eternity. Anyway, Ouranos and Gaea got married. Happily ever after? Not exactly. Part of the problem was that Chaos got a little creation-happy. It thought to its misty, gloomy self: Hey, Earth and Sky. That was fun! I wonder what else I can make. Soon it created all sorts of other problems—and by that I mean gods.**

You could hear a number of grumbles and growls around the throne room as percy laughed nervously

"ha, erm, please don't blast me"

 **Water collected out of the mist of Chaos, pooled in the deepest parts of the earth, and formed the first seas, which naturally developed a consciousness— the god Pontus. Then Chaos really went nuts and thought: I know! How about a dome like the sky, but at the bottom of the earth! That would be awesome! So another dome came into being beneath the earth, but it was dark and murky and generally not very nice, since it was always hidden from the light of the sky. This was Tartarus** (here nico, percy and annabeth's breaths hitched) **, the Pit of Evil; and as you can guess from the name, when he developed a godly personality, he didn't win any popularity contests. The problem was, both Pontus and Tartarus liked Gaea, which put some pressure on her relationship with Ouranos. A bunch of other primordial gods popped up, but if I tried to name them all we'd be here for weeks. Chaos and Tartarus had a kid together** (incest 2.0) **(don't ask how; I don't know) called Nyx, who was the embodiment of night. Then Nyx, somehow all by herself, had a daughter named Hemera, who was Day. Those two never got along because they were as different as…well, you know.**

"know what?" asked an oblivious Apollo, before being shot again. This is going to become a reoccurring theme isn't it

 **According to some stories, Chaos also created Eros, the god of procreation…in other words, mommy gods and daddy gods having lots of little baby gods. Other stories claim Eros was the son of Aphrodite.**

"what, -I-heard-my-name,-are-we-tlking-about-me-now? _Squeeeeel!_ " … who else could it be?

 **We'll get to her later. I don't know which version is true, but I do know Gaea and Ouranos started having kids—with very mixed results. First, they had a batch of twelve— six girls and six boys called the Titans. These kids looked human** (would they even have human back then?) **, but they were much taller and more powerful.** (eh, they were beaten by a 14 through 16yr old) **You'd figure twelve kids would be enough for anybody, right? I mean, with a family that big, you've basically got your own reality TV show. Plus, once the Titans were born, things started to go sour with Ouranos and Gaea's marriage.**

 **Ouranos spent a lot more time hanging out in the sky. He didn't visit. He didn't help with the kids. Gaea got resentful. The two of them started fighting. As the kids grew older, Ouranos would yell at them and basically act like a horrible dad. A few times, Gaea and Ouranos tried to patch things up. Gaea decided maybe if they had another set of kids, it would bring them closer…. I know, right? Bad idea. She gave birth to triplets. The problem: these new kids defined the word UGLY.**

 **They were as big and strong as Titans, except hulking and brutish and in desperate need of a body wax. Worst of all, each kid had a single eye in the middle of his forehead. Talk about a face only a mother could love. Well, Gaea loved these guys. She named them the Elder Cyclopes, and eventually they would spawn a whole race of other, lesser Cyclopes. But that was much later. When Ouranos saw the Cyclops triplets, he freaked. "These cannot be my kids! They don't even look like me!"**

 **"** **They are your children, you deadbeat!" Gaea screamed back. "Don't you dare leave me to raise them on my own!"**

 **"** **Don't worry, I won't," Ouranos growled. He stormed off and came back with thick chains made from the night sky's pure darkness. He bound up the Cyclopes and tossed them into Tartarus, which was the only part of creation where Ouranos wouldn't have to look at them. Harsh, right?**

There was a resounding agreement, with a 'dick move man' coming from George the snake. The members of the room started to feel bad for gaea… until they remembered the number of times she tried to kill them.

 **Gaea screamed and wailed, but Ouranos refused to release the Cyclopes. No one else dared to oppose his orders, because by this time he was getting a reputation as a pretty scary dude. "I am king of the universe!" he bellowed. "How could I not be? I am literally above everything else."**

"he's conveniently forgetting about chaos isn't he?" remarked Jason II, the voice of reason apparently

 **"** **I hate you!" Gaea wailed.**

 **"** **Bah! You will do as I say. I am the first and best of the primordial gods."**

 **"** **I was born before you!" Gaea protested. "You wouldn't even be here if I didn't—"**

 **"** **Don't test me," he snarled. "I've got plenty more chains of darkness."**

"wow, he's almost as bad as smelly Gabe." Percy mentioned, looking back on his writing.

"who's smelly gabe

 **As you can guess, Gaea threw a total earthquake fit, but she didn't see what else she could do. Her first kids, the Titans, were almost adults now. They felt bad for Mom. They didn't like their dad much either—Gaea was always bad-mouthing him, with good reason— but the Titans were scared of Ouranos and felt helpless to stop him. I have to keep it together for the kids, Gaea thought. Maybe I should give it one more try with Ouranos. She arranged a nice romantic evening—candles, roses, soft music.**

An "awwww" came from piper, before she realised what she had done and was promptly disgusted by herself.

 **They must have rekindled some of the old magic. A few months later, Gaea gave birth to one more set of triplets. As if she needed more proof that her marriage to Ouranos was dead…. The new kids were even more monstrous than the Cyclopes. Each one had a hundred arms all around his chest like sea urchin spines, and fifty teeny, tiny heads clustered on his shoulders. It didn't matter to Gaea. She loved their little faces—all hundred and fifty of them. She called the triplets the Hundred-Handed Ones. She'd barely had time to give them names, though, when Ouranos marched over, took one look at them, and snatched them from Gaea's arms. Without a word, he wrapped them in chains and tossed them into Tartarus like bags of recycling. Clearly, the sky dude had issues. Well, that was pretty much it for Gaea. She wailed and moaned and caused so many earthquakes that her Titan kids came running to see what was wrong. "Your father is a complete _!" I don't know what she called him, but I have a feeling that's when the first cuss words were invented. She explained what had happened. Then she raised her arms and caused the ground to rumble beneath her. She summoned the hardest substance she could find from her earthy domain, shaped it with her anger, and created the first weapon ever made—a curved iron blade about three feet long. She fixed it to a wooden handle made from a nearby tree branch, then showed her invention to the Titans.**

 **"** **Behold, my children!" she said. "The instrument of my revenge. I will call it a scythe!" The Titans muttered among themselves: What is that for? Why is it curved? How do you spell scythe?**

Leo shook his head, "a mystery that we shall never descover." He said with a sigh.

"actually it s pretty easy" Annabeth replied, "S-C-"

"NEVER TO BE DESCOVERED!" shouted leo, cutting her off, before fainting as he earnt himself glares from Annabeth, percy and Athena.

 **"** **One of you needs to step up!" Gaea cried. "Ouranos isn't worthy to be the king of the cosmos. One of you will kill him and take his place." The Titans looked pretty uncomfortable.**

 **"** **So…explain this whole killing thing," said Oceanus. He was the oldest Titan boy, but he mostly hung out in the far reaches of the sea with the primordial water god, whom he called Uncle Pontus.**

"yes," posidon said "we still play water deity blackjack on weekends, and so will you percy once you finally accept godhood"

"its not going to happen dad!"

"it will eventualy"

"amphrite and triton hate me!"

"you met them once in the middle of a war!"

This argument went on for a while whilst everyone else watched the father son duo argue back and forth before percy agreed to come meet them in a calmer setting.

 **"** **What does it mean, to kill?"**

 **"** **She wants us to exterminate our dad," Themis guessed. She was one of the smartest girls, and she immediately got the concept of punishing someone for a crime. "Like, make him not exist anymore."**

 **"** **Is that even possible?" asked her sister Rhea. "I thought we were all immortal."**

 **Gaea snarled in frustration. "Don't be cowards! It's very simple. You take this sharp pointy blade and you cut your dad into small pieces so he can't bother us again** (psycho much) **. Whichever of you does this will be the ruler of the universe! Also, I will make you those cookies you used to like, with the sprinkles." Now, in modern times, we have a word for this sort of behavior. We call it psycho** (oh) **. Back then, the rules of behavior were a lot looser. Maybe you'll feel better about your own relatives, knowing that the first family in creation was also the first dysfunctional family.**

 **The Titans started mumbling and pointing to each other like, "Hey, you'd be good at killing Dad." "Uh, no, I think you should do it." "I'd love to kill Dad, honestly, but I've got this thing I have to do, so—" "I'll do it!" said a voice from the back. The youngest of the twelve shouldered his way forward. Kronos was smaller than his brothers and sisters. He wasn't the smartest or the strongest or the fastest. But he was the most power-hungry. I suppose when you're the youngest of twelve kids, you're always looking for ways to stand out and get noticed. The youngest Titan loved the idea of taking over the world, especially if it meant being the boss of all his siblings. The offer of cookies with sprinkles didn't hurt, either.**

"Blue cookies will never hurt! They are the ambrosia of the mortal world," percy sprouted off, talking about the wonders of all things cookie and blue, seriously its like the guy wanted to start a cult. A cult I would join. You know what, tell me if you would in the comments.

 **Kronos stood about nine feet tall, which was runty for a Titan. He didn't look as dangerous as some of his brothers, but the kid was crafty. He'd already gotten the nickname "the Crooked One" among his siblings, because he would fight dirty in their wrestling matches and was never where you expected him to be. He had his mother's smile and dark curly hair. He had his father's cruelty. When he looked at you, you could never tell if he was about to punch you or tell you a joke. His beard was kind of unnerving, too. He was young for a beard, but he'd already started growing his whiskers into a single spike that jutted from his chin like the beak of a raven. When Kronos saw the scythe, his eyes gleamed. He wanted that iron blade. Alone among his siblings, he understood how much damage it could cause. And as for killing his dad—why not? Ouranos barely noticed him. Neither did Gaea, for that matter. His parents probably didn't even know his name. Kronos hated being ignored. He was tired of being the smallest and wearing all those stupid Titan hand-me-downs. "I'll do it," he repeated. "I'll chop up Dad."**

 **"** **My favorite son!" Gaea cried. "You are awesome! I knew I could count on you, uh…which one are you again?"**

 **"** **Kronos." He managed to keep his smile. Hey, for a scythe, cookies, and a chance to commit murder, Kronos could hide his true feelings. "I will be honored to kill for you, Mother. But we'll have to do it my way. First, I want you to trick Ouranos into visiting you. Tell him you're sorry. Tell him it's all your fault and you're going to cook him a fancy dinner to apologize. Just get him here tonight and act like you still love him."**

 **"** **Ugh!" Gaea gagged. "Are you crazy?" "Just pretend," Kronos insisted. "Once he's in human form and sitting next to you, I'll jump out and attack him. But I'll need some help." He turned to his siblings, who were all suddenly very interested in their own feet. "Look, guys," said Kronos, "if this goes bad, Ouranos is going to take revenge on all of us. We can't have any mistakes. I'll need four of you to hold him down and make sure he doesn't escape back into the sky before I finish killing him." The others were silent. They were probably trying to picture their shrimpy little brother Kronos taking on their huge violent dad, and they weren't liking the odds. "Oh, come on!" Kronos chided. "I'll do the actual slicing and dicing. Four of you just need to hold him. When I'm king, I'll reward those four! I'll give them each a corner of the earth to rule— north, south, east, and west. One-time offer. Who's with me?"**

 **The girls were too wise to get involved in murder. They made their excuses and quickly left. The oldest son, Oceanus, chewed his thumb nervously. "I have to get back to the sea, for some, uh, aquatic stuff. Sorry…" That left only four of Kronos's brothers—Koios, Iapetus, Krios, and Hyperion. Kronos smiled at them. He took the scythe from Gaea's hands and tested its point, drawing a drop of golden blood from his own finger. "So, four volunteers! Nice!"**

 **Iapetus cleared his throat. "Uh, actually—" Hyperion jabbed Iapetus with his elbow. "We're in, Kronos!" he promised. "You can count on us!" "Excellent," Kronos said, which was the first time an evil genius ever said excellent. He told them the plan.**

 **That night, amazingly, Ouranos showed up. He wandered into the valley where he usually met Gaea and frowned when he saw the sumptuous dinner laid out on the table. "I got your note. Are you serious about making up?"**

 **"** **Absolutely!" Gaea was dressed in her best green sleeveless dress. Her curly hair was braided with jewels (which were easy for her to get, being the earth), and she smelled of roses and jasmine. She reclined on a sofa in the soft light of the candles and beckoned her husband to come closer. Ouranos felt underdressed in his loincloth. He hadn't brushed his hair or anything. His nighttime skin was dark and covered with stars, but that probably didn't count as "black tie" for a fancy dinner. He was starting to think he should've at least brushed his teeth. Was he suspicious? I don't know. Remember, nobody in the history of the cosmos had been lured into an ambush and chopped to pieces before. He was going to be the first. Lucky guy. Also, he got lonely hanging out in the sky so much. His only company was the stars, the air god Aither (who was, in fact, a total airhead), and Nyx and Hemera, mother and daughter, who argued with each other every dawn and dusk.**

Nico and Thalia both turned to look at percy before the younger of the two spoke "so percy, when you get killed by a primordial can I have your stuff?"

"eh, everything except the blue cookies. I want to be buried with them" was his reply, which earnt a quiet 'dam' from thalia, causing percy and appreciative readers to break out into giggles from the reference.

 **"** **So…" Ouranos's palms felt sweaty. He'd forgotten how beautiful Gaea could be when she wasn't all yelling up in his face. "You're not angry anymore?"**

 **"** **Not at all!" Gaea assured him.**

 **"** **And…you're okay with me wrapping our kids in chains and throwing them into the abyss?"**

 **Gaea gritted her teeth and forced a smile. "I am okay with it."**

 **"** **Good," he grunted. "Because those little guys were UGLY ."**

 **Gaea patted the couch. "Come sit with me, my husband."**

 **Ouranos grinned and lumbered over. As soon as he settled in, Kronos whispered from the behind the nearest boulder: "Now." His four brothers jumped out from their hiding places. Krios had disguised himself as a bush. Koios had dug a hole for himself and covered it with branches. Hyperion had tucked himself under the couch (it was a large couch), and Iapetus was attempting to look like a tree with his arms out for branches. For some reason, it had worked. The four brothers grabbed Ouranos.**

 **Each one took an arm or a leg and they wrestled their dad to the ground, stretching him out spread-eagle. Kronos emerged from the shadows. His iron scythe gleamed in the starlight. "Hello, Father." "What is the meaning of this?" Ouranos bellowed. "Gaea, tell them to release me!"**

 **"** **HA!" Gaea rose from her couch. "You gave our children no mercy, my husband, so you deserve no mercy. Besides, who wears a loincloth to a fancy dinner? I am disgusted!"**

Murrmers of agreement came from the women around the throne room. Even thalia and artemis of all people. Suddenly calypso slapped leo upside the head, knowing he was considering it(along with 'McShizzle' tattooed on his chest)

 **Ouranos struggled in vain. "How dare you! I am the lord of the cosmos!"**

 **"** **Not anymore." Kronos raised the scythe.**

 **"** **Beware! If you do this, uh…what was your name again?" "KRONOS!" "If you do this, Kronos," said Ouranos, "I will curse you! Someday, your own children will destroy you and take your throne, just as you are doing to me!"**

 **Kronos laughed. "Let them try." He brought down the scythe.**

 **It hit Ouranos right in the…well, you know what? I can't even say it. If you're a guy, imagine the most painful place you could possibly be hit.** (wincing came from around the throne room as Apollo murmured about how he didn't want it to happen _again_ and artemis smirked) **Yep. That's the place. Kronos chopped, and Ouranos howled in pain. It was like the most disgusting cheap-budget horror movie you can imagine. Blood was everywhere —except the blood of the gods is golden, and it's called ichor. Droplets of it splattered over the rocks; and the stuff was so powerful that later on, when no one was looking, creatures arose from the ichor—three hissing winged demons called the Furies, the spirits of punishment. They immediately fled into the darkness of Tartarus. Other drops of sky blood fell on fertile soil, where they eventually turned into wild but gentler creatures called nymphs and satyrs. Most of the blood just splattered everything. Seriously, those stains were never going to come out of Kronos's shirt. "Well done, brothers!" Kronos grinned ear to ear, his scythe dripping gold. Iapetus got sick on the spot** (poor bob) **. The others laughed and patted each other on the back. "Oh, my children!" Gaea said. "I am so proud! Cookies and punch for everyone!" Before the celebration, Kronos gathered up the remains of his father in the tablecloth. Maybe because he resented his eldest brother, Oceanus. for not helping with the murder, Kronos toted the stuff to the sea and tossed it in. The blood mixed with the salty water, and…well, you'll see what came from that later. Now you're going to ask, Okay, so if the sky was killed, why do I look up and still see the sky? Answer: I dunno.**

"typical _boy_ "

"actually m'lady, its typical Percy."

"… True"

 **My guess is that Kronos killed Ouranos's physical form, so the sky god could no longer appear on the earth and claim kingship. They basically exiled him into the air. So he's not dead, exactly; but now he can't do anything but be the harmless dome over the world. Anyway, Kronos returned to the valley, and all the Titans had a party. Gaea named Kronos lord of the universe. She made him a cool one-of-akind collector's edition golden crown and everything. Kronos kept his promise and gave his four helpful brothers control over the four corners of the earth. Iapetus became the Titan of the west. Hyperion got the east. Koios took the north, and Krios got the south. That night, Kronos lifted his glass of nectar, which was the immortals' favorite drink. He tried for a confident smile, since kings should always look confident, though truthfully he was already starting to worry about Ouranos's curse—that someday Kronos's own children would depose him. In spite of that, he yelled, "My siblings, a toast! We have begun a Golden Age!" And if you like lots of lying, stealing, backstabbing, and cannibalism, then read on, because it definitely was a Golden Age for all that.**

"Well that was pleasant" murmured frank

"yes" drawled Hephutus,

"well" hera announced "I have to say grandmother was a suprprisingly good mother" not like she would know, "but we should get this over with. I feel as if this chapter was unusualy long, it took quite a bit of time compared to the last and you lot were surprisingly quiet towards the end there."

The heroes present deadpanned as hera blatantly broke the fourth wall as theseus looked around for someone to give the book to. Suddenly percy stood up,

"wait! Before we continue im hungry. Auntie 'tia do you want to help me make some of mom's cookies?"

Hestia jumped up clapping her hands (cos she ist still eight … sorta) "of course! Ive wanted to get ahold of the recipe for ages!" she announced with glee.

The two walked off to her kitchens as the others discussed the books. (and heracles flexed, but that doesn't matter cos apperntly percy looks better and the strong man is a bit of a prick)

 **YO! Okay I forgot to do this at the start but I don't own anything PJ related. Also im going to release the first chapter to allot of ideas I've had, but they most likely wont bear fruit because it'll be too much effort to come up with a story. If you wanna adopt them, pm me your plans and we can collab for them!**

 **From your favorite Lovecraftian taentical god**

 **TheTrueCthulhu9**

* * *

[DT1]


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